An Introvert in an Extroverted World Part 2

This is from the brilliant Hyperbole and a Half blog by Allie Brosh.

A while ago I wrote a post called "An Introvert in an Extroverted World" and I said I might follow it up with more posts on the same topic. I haven't really but something has sparked my interest in it so here is a bit of a follow up. It's probably not going to answer many of the questions people asked in the comments or reply to any of their points. Sorry about that, they're all valid and I probably will get round to them one day but I'm not a very regular blogger. Something really has to spark my interest to make me want to write about it. So anyway here is part two of the introversion series of posts...


So as I said in the last post, I follow (Like? Yuck, I much prefer Twitter terminology to Facebook terminology!) a group on Facebook called Introverts are Awesome. One of the things they often do is post cartoons or links to cartoons about the subject and a few days ago they linked to this collection of cartoons: 11 Comics Every Introvert Will Understand. Go ahead, have a look. Don't worry, I'll wait. Read them? Good. Did you notice anything about them?  I mean apart from the fact that one of them makes us sound like high maintenance a**e holes and I'm pretty sure the character in another is suffering from depression and isn't just an introvert? Did you notice that of the eleven cartoons four had male main protagonists? Now I'd like to get my pre-emptive strike in now. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact I think it's good that the split between male and female is so close to 50/50 especially as it is just a more or less random selection of eleven cartoons on the subject. I only mention it because it is the thing that made me write this post because it sparked something in my mind. Take a look at the picture I used in my last introvert post (here it is for those of you too lazy to click on the link up at the top)

I just love this cartoon.

Is that a boy or a girl? It's hard to tell isn't it? For some reason I've always taken it to be a girl but I'm not sure why. Again, it doesn't matter. I used it because I really like it. I really relate to it. So why on Earth am I bringing all of this up? Am I going to suddenly become all sexist or something? No. No I'm not. Come on, do you not know me? I'm bringing it up because I find it interesting that this,what shall we call it? This introversion movement seems to be quite female oriented. To be clear, I'm basing that last statement on no scientific or proper statistical evidence whatsoever. It's purely based on a feeling, an impression I have developed over the last year or so of reading articles and various other bits and pieces on the subject. So much of it seems to be written by women about their experiences and so few things seem to be written by men and I wonder why that is. Are there more female introverts than male introverts in the (internet accessing) world or are they just more willing to write about it? I did try looking up some proper statistics on it but not being very good at that sort of thing I couldn't find any, or actually I could but they were written for such an academic audience that I couldn't make head nor tail of them. Is there a reason that men seem less likely to self identify as an introvert and less likely to advertise the fact on the internet? Is this the good old "alpha male" thing coming into play? Do we, as men, see admitting to be an introvert as a sign of weakness? Do we think it makes us less manly? I think possibly yes, we might. It certainly did to me. I've posted a lot of quite personal stuff on this blog but I did sit and wonder for ages about whether or not to publish that particular post and part of the reason was because I wasn't sure how happy I was talking about it. Isn't that crap? It's just kind of pathetic really. Come on, in this day and age. Sheesh!

Since my last post, and since I started sharing stuff about introversion a friend of mine and I have had several discussions about it. He says he is an introvert too and I, sort of jokingly, call bull shit on him because he absolutely doesn't come across as one. He is though really, he's just a different type of introvert to me. He's on a different part of the spectrum. Yes because just like so much else in this world I think you can see introversion as a spectrum. I am on the bit where I can do a little bit of "people" time as long as I can get a little bit of alone time afterwards. He on the other hand seems to be able to binge on "people time" but then needs to crash afterwards. I'm also shy, which is a different thing but does effect how I deal with people. I'm not just rubbish in large groups but I'm also crap in one to one situations too. For example, there's a girl at work who I think is lovely in every way but if I even attempt to speak to her I'm absolutely crippled by brain deciding that this would be the best time to go blank, make me blush and tie my tongue up in knots. It's like my subconscious just never wants me to form a relationship with anyone ever. God damn subconscious! My friend on the other hand can pretty much say anything to anyone. He doesn't care, he isn't shy. What he has become very good at though is pretending he isn't an introvert. Where as I have decided to stop and just say "Look, I'm an introvert and I'm happy like that" he now finds it easier just to pretend. He finds it easier to pretend not to be what he is - that's crazy - but this is what the world does to people. Obviously it's what the world does to more or less everyone in one way or another, the pressure to conform, to just be "normal" so there's nothing special about it but to come back to the point of this post - is there more pressure on men to be extroverts and is it more acceptable for women to be introverts? If you have any insights or opinions please comment!

Anyway, that was another rambling post where I'm not entirely sure I'm happy I said everything I wanted to say but never mind. It seems to take me ages to write these things then when I look at them I think they're way too short. It's all because I'm too easily distracted...ooh, shiny...and then I end up just kind of saying "Oh, that'll do for now. Release it into the wild and then deal with everything else in another post."

I also just realised how many short sentences I've used in this post. Sorry if its not massively readable. I tend to write the way I'm thinking on any given day so I must have been in a short staccato mood on the days I wrote this. Anyway, I'm trying to end this properly and I can't so I'm just going to say "Bye!"